now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
