Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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