rhymes with "ouble enetration"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
