but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
