Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
