Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
