My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
