it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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