I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There's even glitter on my cock...
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