You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
