So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
