Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
