I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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