How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
