Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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