I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
