So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
