at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize