are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
