Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
