She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
