I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
