I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
