i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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