I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
