Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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