just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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