Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
