I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
