yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
