Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
