If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got inside last night via doggy door
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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