Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
