So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
