butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
