Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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