He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My bed smells like the plague
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
