Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
