Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
