i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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