What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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