Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we made out on top of his cat.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
