I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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