I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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