oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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