if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did I show you my penis last night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
