I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
as a side note pls kill me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
