This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
