Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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