i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
